Uncategorized, Writer's Block, Writing

Writer’s Block or Unmotivated?

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Currently, I’m working on self-publishing my first book and I’m in the process of writing additional books that are included in the series.
Writer’s Block is something we’ve all heard of. You’re stuck. You don’t know where to go with the story. The characters aren’t doing what you want them to do.
I’ve experienced this and though it’s never fun, it is very real. But, sometimes I wonder, is it writer’s block, or am I just unmotivated?
The reason I wonder this is because when I’m not writing, it’s not because I don’t know what happens next in the story, or what the characters need me to write, it’s because sometimes I simply want to be lazy. But recently that laziness has been earned.

As I mentioned, I’m getting ready to self-publish my first book. As I’m putting the finishing touches on that, I delved into an intense edit of my second book. On top of all that, I recently lost my job.
Minus the money factor (that damn money!), I’ve loved being home and having the freedom to write all day. As soon as the layoff happened, I jumped in on the edit and gave it my all. My editor was loving my motivation. She wanted to read the book first to get a feel of the story and where it goes before she took the reigns and had fun with her red pen. (She really loves her red pen, by the way.) It’s very motivating to have someone reading your work as you go along. It really pushes me to finish.
Well, I finished my edit of my second book, although it’s nowhere near ready, there will be so much more work on the horizon. And I handed off my first book to be formatted to print, so what was I to do? It’s not like I don’t have plenty to keep me busy, but once I reached a stopping point and I actually stopped, I realized something:
I’m exhausted!

Writing is extremely emotional. I’ll sit here with my fingers flying over the keys and tears streaming down my face at times. Other times I have a scowl in place because I’m angry at the situation that’s being created, or I’ll giggle like a loon and make my family wonder if I need a mental evaluation. But, something I don’t think people take into consideration is how taxing it can be. I certainly never knew!

I have to feel good when I’m writing. If I’m bored and trudging through a chapter, I believe that will come across when someone reads it. The flow of the story has to be there, the emotion from the characters has to be there, even if it’s a simple moment of sharing coffee in the morning. One of my favorite writing quotes is, “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.” I love that quote and believe it to be true. If it touches me, it will touch the reader. If it bores me, it will bore the reader.

Sometimes I need a day or two, sometimes more. But this was turning into weeks. Weeks of me staring at a chapter and changing a word here and there, then justifying my time with playing Bejeweled or My Vegas Slots on Facebook, claiming that would clear my mind.

Since I’ve started writing, I’ve always lived by this rule: Ass in chair – write. Sometimes when I do this my writing resembles that scene from the movie Misery where he’s trapped with a psycho fan and he can’t get away:

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, wrote Paul Sheldon as he emoted his frustration at being held captive by Annie Wilkes. I get it, Paul. I totally get it. (Sidebar, I love this movie and must watch it again soon!)

I start to freak out when I take breaks. I worry that my creativity is gone forever (I’m really good at worrying), I get frustrated with myself, I let my brain become inundated with every single doubt I’m sure every single writer has ever had.

So, what did I do to try to get my mojo back?

  • I started to read a book, but that didn’t help. When I get in these droughts, all I do is compare my writing to other writers and nothing good comes from that.
  • I got out of the house. Since I’ve been unemployed, I’ve become reclusive and it’s not always a good thing. Getting out of the house helps clear the mind.
  • I worked out. The treadmill does wonders for helping me find the words I’m looking for.
  • I drank wine. A lot of it. Another quote I love: “Write drunk, edit sober.” I’ve written some of my best stuff tipsy. (Not all of it, so don’t judge!)
  • I took a walk with my daughter.
  • I talked about it. Endlessly. To both of my daughters and my husband. I emailed my woes to a friend of mine. They all assured me I would find it.
  • I giggled. A lot. My oldest daughter has Fridays off from college. This past Friday, she and I walked to the store, made lunch together and laughed about everything and nothing. Laughter truly is the best medicine.
  • I finally sat my butt down and wrote.
  • And wrote and wrote and wrote.

Just like everyone told me it would, and like I believed deep down in my heart, my mojo came back.

I realize I never answered the question: was it writer’s block or was I unmotivated? It could have been either one, so I honestly don’t know. What I do know is, it’s OK to take a break. As I’m learning along this crazy road, some of these breaks are going to take longer than others. This was a long one. I didn’t like it, but it’s over. Eventually I found the words and the rhythm of the story again and wondered why they were ever lost.

Now I have to stop rambling and get back to writing, I have characters waiting for me to finish their chapter!

Writing about sex

Let’s Talk About Sex – Volume I

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In honor of Valentine’s Day today, I thought I would post this blog and share my experience with writing a steamy scene. I titled this “Volume I”, because I foresee numerous posts on this topic! As I do research and stumble upon articles on writing for motivation, I see a lot of interesting thoughts on writing about sex. I also subscribe to quite a few writing sites and get constant updates from Pinterest about writing boards to follow. There is a ton of information out there, so if you’re looking for inspiration, you will definitely find it.

So here goes:

I recently got an email with a link to an article, titled: Writing Sex Scenes. I perked up. Who wouldn’t? I believe most people perk up when they hear the word ‘sex’. It’s intriguing to read about, and, as a writer, it’s even more intriguing to read articles on the craft of creating intimacy. But, this article left me wanting more. Come on. When it comes to sex, the last thing you want is to be left unsatisfied.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate and respect any writer, and I have a lot of respect for those who are publishing articles with advice on how to refine the craft. I tend to have a lot of random thoughts once I finish reading one and wanted to share that here.

The article explained that writers know their characters best. And while sex is important to the growth of a relationship, it suggested that you don’t add sex to a scene simply because you think it’ll increase sales. Wait, what? No gratuitous sex scenes?! Who doesn’t want a frivolous romp thrown into a story? Especially in a romance novel! It’s funny to me that someone would say a sex scene shouldn’t be gratuitous. Hmm, yeah, because that’s the only reason I ever picked up a bodice ripper…for a history lesson. Of course, sex scenes are gratuitous! They’re scandalous and raunchy, and I know there are many individuals out there who want to read about two people getting hot and heavy, collapsing together in a sweaty, shivering mass!

Sex scenes can be challenging to write for a few reasons.

  1. You have to create the fantasy of an exceptional experience. Unless your characters are hitting some kind of slump that pertains to your story, there has to be build up and emotions, and the way the body starts to feel when aroused. But, sex can also be awkward, and if the scene calls for it, that has to come across. For example, in one of my books, I write about the main character losing her virginity. It’s awkward and fumbling in parts. Why? Because losing your virginity is awkward and fumbling! And if you try to tell me otherwise, I’ll never believe you.
  2. When I write a steamy scene, I get self-conscious that people are thinking I’ve experienced the content of the scene. Do I draw on personal experience? Honestly, rarely. I maybe think about how I’ve felt in certain situations in my life, but if my heroine is being bent over a desk by my hero, it doesn’t mean I’ve done so, as well. Getting into the creation of a sultry moment is getting to a space where I just let my mind go and my fingers race over the keys. Often times, I won’t even look at what I’m writing until, like my characters, I’m spent from the experience. Then I go back and see what they just enjoyed.
  3. It’s embarrassing to write a sex scene! For me, I become so invested in my characters and I fall so deeply in love with them, when I write an intimate moment, I feel like I’m spying on them. It’s also embarrassing because when people read them, they look at you differently. (See reason #2 why they’re awkward to write.) I let my husband read my work as it’s complete. He keeps me in line and his interest keeps me motivated to get the next chapter done so he can read. But, the first time he read one of my sex scenes, he looked at me and said, “You want the kids to catch us doing that?” Uh, no. Just, no.
  4. Sometimes they make me blush! Yes, sometimes my own writing makes me blink and wonder where the hell that came from. But, as I’ve grown as a writer, I’ve learned that if I’m blushing, that means it’s good. If I can shock myself, I’m going to intrigue the reader.

If you’ve ever wondered what goes through the mind of a writer when they include a sex scene in their story, there you have it. These are simply my thoughts on the topic, though. Other writers may have a different perspective and that’s just fine.

This concludes Volume I of Let’s Talk About Sex. More to come…pun intended! Image result for wink

 

Uncategorized

Welcome!

pexels-photo-102100.jpegWelcome to My Writing Days! Thanks for stopping by!

Some of you may be familiar with my beauty blog, BrookeKnowsBeauty.wordpress.com and if you are familiar with it, you may be wondering what I’m doing starting another blog, especially when I haven’t shown BKB a lot of love lately. If you aren’t familiar with it, come take a look!

Well, my life has taken many turns in the past few years. We’ve relocated twice in 4 years and I wrote a book series. Which leads me to this…

A while back, one of my friends suggested I write about writing. Hmm, I thought that was strange because shouldn’t I just focus on the story I have within me? I didn’t do anything about that until now. And I kind of wish I would have when she suggested it, because any time I’ve felt blocked or burned out on my novels, I turn to blogging and it clears my head. It still allows me to write, but since it’s more like journaling, it really frees my mind and gives me that motivation I need to start fresh and jump back into the world with my characters.

And, on top of writing a series of books, I’ve recently been laid off from my job. I’ve always said I wanted to write full-time, so here it is. Possibly for the time being, until I find a new job, or maybe, if life goes the way I’m visualizing it to go, writing will be my job!

So, what can you expect here? I’ll be sharing my journey with you as I self-publish my first novel. Yikes! I’m so excited, but so darn scared, too! I’ll be sharing my thoughts on the writing process and what I’ve experienced. I’ll even share with you what it’s like to write a steamy sex scene!

I thought I would also share my experience with being newly unemployed and what I’m going through with trying to find another job: applications, resumes and interviews…I have strong, and sassy, feelings about all of these topics!

One thing you need to know about me though: I have a lot to say! So, any time you visit, sit back with your coffee, tea or wine and be prepared to stay awhile.

Hopefully you’ll stick around. I like to think I’m that enjoyable!