Job Interview, Published Author, Self Publishing, Writing

The Wrong Job

I’ve been getting some questions lately about what’s going on in my personal life. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll see that I post a good mix of motivation, inspiration, and funny with a dash of inappropriate. I’ll admit, lately I’ve been posting some ominous pictures about making the right decisions and taking a leap of faith. Today I posted one that was the cover of a children’s book with a train on it that says, “The Little Engine That Said Fuck It”. I am that little engine. Today I said, “Fuck it!” Today I quit my job.

the-little-engine-that-said-fuck-it

That’s not as dramatic as it sounds, because I’ve given my 2 week notice, but I’m calling it quits a few days early.

Let me backtrack a little…about 5 months ago, a friend of mine reached out to me and offered me a job working with her. I’ve known her since elementary school. We didn’t really keep in touch over the years, but we connected on Facebook and once I moved to Nevada, we got back in touch since she lives here, too. At first, it seemed like it was the perfect job. It was a little out of my comfort zone, but it sure beat sitting at a desk and answering phones all day. At least I thought it did.

Hate work   Spreadsheets

3 months into the job, I started to realize it was not the right fit for me. I was working with my strengths and trying to make the most of it, but I realized it was a very analytical job full of numbers, spreadsheets, and data. Definitely not the right job for someone who’s creative and writes romance novels. I needed to get out. Not just for me, but for the good of the company, too. I knew I wasn’t the person for the job, so not only was it unfair to me to keep trudging along, it was unfair to the company. No business wants the wrong person in any position.

I wanted to be honest with this friend and let her know I wasn’t happy, when suddenly everything got turned upside down. She was let go from the company. I won’t get into why. Not just because she wouldn’t tell me specifics, but simply because this is not to bash her in any way. Something happened that shouldn’t have happened and she lost her job because of it. I felt bad for her, but then I started to feel really bad for me! With her no longer there as my manager, it became clear how much there was to the position that I didn’t know. I spent 2 days with a different manager and he really showed me what it was all about. By the end of that 2nd day, I knew without a doubt, I had to get out!

adorable animal berner sennen bernese mountain dog

I had 2 interviews with one company under my belt. That Friday when I got home after the 2nd day of training, they called me for a 3rd interview. I didn’t take this 3rd interview request as a done deal, but it was a good start. I also had a plan B. So, I took a leap of faith and put in my 2 week notice. But, once I gave my notice I couldn’t shake the nerves. Even when my duties went from basic administrative tasks to pretty much mailing it in because I was doing next to nothing, I was still sick to my stomach. I told my husband it was time to quit. He countered that I only had 2 days left, so why not coast along and at least get paid for the full week. When I told him the healthiest thing for me was to completely disconnect, he said he understood. But it felt like he didn’t. I know how his brain works. He’s always in manager-mode and he’s very analytical.

Some of you might not even understand. I mean, what’s 2 days? Isn’t that simple? Not to me. To me it’s come at the cost of the worst, crippling anxiety I’ve ever experienced. It’s cost me sleepless nights, bad dreams, physical pain, etc. I haven’t even had the creativity to write because it’s sucked the motivation out of me. That’s a huge price that’s worth more to me than a couple hundred dollars. And I’ve reached a point in my life where I need to do what’s best for me. I can’t say I have to do it for him, or for my family, because I have to put myself first in order to be the best I can be for them.

love romantic bath candlelight

What I’ve learned from this is that no job should ever make you feel this way. The only time a situation is allowed to panic you on that level, is when it means everything to you. My writing panics me and even though I hate feeling that way, I’m ok with it, simply because I know how much it means to me. But a job that’s just a job? No way.

The funny thing is, halfway through my morning of drafting my resignation email and finally being able to take deep breaths, one of the managers called me and told me he was getting my computer and phone from me because he needed it to start training the new person. The timing was perfect and I told him that’s fine, I’m leaving today anyway. It was done. I could really breathe.

person standing on boardwalk

You might be wondering what came of the 3rd interview. The next day they called and offered me the job. It’s a position that suits me so much better! You also might be wondering what was Plan B? It was anything. I was prepared to flip burgers, or work retail since the holiday are right around the corner.

It’s amazing how much this job sucked my energy and drive to write. Even when I gave my notice, I still couldn’t find the motivation. But, guess what? You’re reading this…so that means it’s back.

white and red plastic heart balloon on sky during daytime

 

Thanks for stopping by!
Brooke

Uncategorized, Unemployment, Workplace Drama, Writing

When You Want To Grow

TP

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been unemployed for about 2 1/2 months now. Some days it feels like it all happened yesterday, other days it feels like it was years ago. It’s crazy how it can be such a blur to me, yet still so many things stand out. The good things stand out. The friends I made, and the people I would enjoy seeing every day. And, of course, the bad things stand out. My unhappiness, the poor way the company was run, and the gossip. Oh, the gossip was the worst! I don’t miss that part, at all!

When I looked at the calendar today and noticed the date, I thought of a few things. First, 25 years ago today, my grandmother passed away. Amazing how the time goes by, but I’ll never forget April 11th for that reason. Also, it happened to be Easter Sunday that day, so that makes the date stand out, as well. 2 years ago today, I started my job at That Place…I’ll refer to it that way from now on. Within the first month, I knew it wasn’t the job for me, but I had living expenses, so I dug in and I did it with a smile every day…well, not every day, I’m not perfect. 1 year ago today, I sat down with HR and told them being in my position for a year, I felt confident that I was ready to grow and move forward, and by moving forward, I meant moving out of my position, and of course, making more money. I left that meeting on a high since the HR manager agreed with me and made suggestions of areas where she thought I would be a good fit. 2 weeks later, my high became a low when she sat me down and told me she had spoken with “The Family”…aka the owners of the company. The conversation went a little something like this:
She said, “They like you where you are.”
“Does that mean I’m not doing a good job, and they don’t see that I have potential?” I asked.
“Oh, no,” she smiled, trying to reassure me. “It means you’re very good at what you do, so this is where you’ll stay.”
“Wait, what, huh?” I stammered through my response. “You mean they don’t want me to grow?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head with pity.
“Seriously? Does that mean I won’t ever have an increase in pay?”
“Not at this time. I’m sorry. How do you feel?”
If I had told her how I really felt, I would have been fired on the spot. Who doesn’t want their employees to grow? It put me in mind of my time at Sephora. For makeup junkies like myself, it sounds like a dream job, right? At first, it was. It didn’t pay the best, but it fed my addiction with free products. About 6 months into my time there, I told the store manager I wanted to move into skincare. I thought she would be thrilled given the fact that, at that time, I had nearly 15 years of experience in the beauty industry. Halfway through my pitch to her about my deep knowledge of skincare and why I’d be a great addition to that team, she shook her head and very loudly said, “No. I’m sorry Brooke. You’re so good with the customers and ringing people up quickly, I can’t lose you there.”
Needless to say, my time at Sephora was short-lived after that. Not only was I told I couldn’t move forward, but it was retail during Christmas…at Park Meadows Mall. (My Colorado friends will totally understand that!)
I really wish my time at That Place would have been short-lived after I was told I’d never move up, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but even with numerous interviews under my belt, I wasn’t successful at finding a new job, and it just wasn’t possible to walk away from it. I have a family to feed!
Losing my job in January was truly the best thing that could happen. At first I felt elation, but that “up” was quickly followed by a “down”. I didn’t know what to do with myself with all this free time. Sure, the house could be cleaned, or I could jump into an intense fitness regime, but I haven’t done that. I’m writing, so there’s my blessing. I love to write! (Debut novel will be released soon…come on, had to do the shameless plug! Follow me on Instagram for updates!)
I’m getting better at meditating and praying, and I’m opening myself to accepting new possibilities. As I write this, there is very good potential for a new possibility, but that’s all I’ll say for now. I don’t want to announce anything until I have a firm offer.

I can’t be the only one who’s felt stifled at a job. I want to hear from you! Have you been in a position where you’ve been ready to grow, but your employer wouldn’t let you? I look forward to your response!

Uncategorized, Unemployment, Workplace Drama

When You Find Out You Worked For Liars

Liar

Nothing gets me more steamed than finding out I’ve been lied to. I was raised to be an honest person. I am an honest person, and I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility to expect that from others, especially my employer.

Before I dig into a rant on my former job, let me make one thing clear. I was not happy there. In fact, I hated my last job for 3 main reasons:

  • It was the wrong fit for me.
  • There was a ton of drama in the workplace.
  • It was a dead-end position with no promise of moving up. Ever.

When I was let go, I was brought into a large conference room. In said room was the HR manager, the HR bitch…sorry, not sorry…the VP of Finance and the CFO, who used to be one of the owners of the company before they sold out for millions. And I’m talking millions! (I’ll share more on the moment I was let go, and the HR bitch, in a different post.)
The CFO looked at me with tears in her eyes, repeatedly apologizing about the fact that my position was being eliminated. The VP didn’t have tears in his eyes, but he was very good at making it seem as though the fact that they were letting me go was killing him.
I was curious though. In a company where they had 2 people at the front desk because of its high traffic with calls and incoming visitors, why would they just eliminate this position without at least tapering off into a new situation? They let it seem as though it would be a very different set up. The phones were to be put on an automated system, eliminating the need for a human to answer. There would be one person at the desk to handle incoming visitors, but not in a customer service/front desk capacity. I was told to think along the lines of security guard, or lobby guard, etc.
Fine. No sweat. I was just glad to put that place behind me.
Crazy thing is, others who still worked there told me that there were suddenly temps covering the front desk…of course, that was followed up with a quick excuse that it was only until they could get things ironed out. I don’t care, but again, why the sudden decision, why not taper off and transition?
Just over a month has gone by since I’ve been let go. Today, just for sh*ts and grins, I got online and looked at the company website and checked out their job openings. I know, I know…it’s like looking up an ex on social media. You shouldn’t do it, but you just can’t help it!
Imagine my surprise when I went to the career section, and there was my former job posted as a new opening in the company.
Ok, this is where the lying comes in and this is what gets me fired up. Are you kidding me? I mean, I guess if they didn’t like me, telling me my position was being eliminated was the tactful thing to do. I can handle feedback on job performance and I appreciate honesty, but I wouldn’t want to hear something like that.
Maybe they were going to go one way, but then realized they couldn’t. Maybe they wanted to bring someone in to do the work of 2 people for the pay of less than 1. Maybe they’re just lying jerks. I don’t know what happened for sure, but I do know I’ll never learn the truth because there were too many lies leading up to this, and this was the lying cherry on the top. Plus, I’d never believe anything out of their mouths at this point.
I hold my head high every day that I’m not a part of that place anymore. I feel badly for those who are still there. More importantly, I feel awful for the poor soul who applies for my old position and gets it.
This was obviously a moment for me to let off some steam, but I want to hear from others! Have you ever been let go from a job, only to find out they lied to you? I know I can’t be the only one! I look forward to others sharing their story with me.