It’s hard to believe that I’ve been unemployed for about 2 1/2 months now. Some days it feels like it all happened yesterday, other days it feels like it was years ago. It’s crazy how it can be such a blur to me, yet still so many things stand out. The good things stand out. The friends I made, and the people I would enjoy seeing every day. And, of course, the bad things stand out. My unhappiness, the poor way the company was run, and the gossip. Oh, the gossip was the worst! I don’t miss that part, at all!
When I looked at the calendar today and noticed the date, I thought of a few things. First, 25 years ago today, my grandmother passed away. Amazing how the time goes by, but I’ll never forget April 11th for that reason. Also, it happened to be Easter Sunday that day, so that makes the date stand out, as well. 2 years ago today, I started my job at That Place…I’ll refer to it that way from now on. Within the first month, I knew it wasn’t the job for me, but I had living expenses, so I dug in and I did it with a smile every day…well, not every day, I’m not perfect. 1 year ago today, I sat down with HR and told them being in my position for a year, I felt confident that I was ready to grow and move forward, and by moving forward, I meant moving out of my position, and of course, making more money. I left that meeting on a high since the HR manager agreed with me and made suggestions of areas where she thought I would be a good fit. 2 weeks later, my high became a low when she sat me down and told me she had spoken with “The Family”…aka the owners of the company. The conversation went a little something like this:
She said, “They like you where you are.”
“Does that mean I’m not doing a good job, and they don’t see that I have potential?” I asked.
“Oh, no,” she smiled, trying to reassure me. “It means you’re very good at what you do, so this is where you’ll stay.”
“Wait, what, huh?” I stammered through my response. “You mean they don’t want me to grow?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head with pity.
“Seriously? Does that mean I won’t ever have an increase in pay?”
“Not at this time. I’m sorry. How do you feel?”
If I had told her how I really felt, I would have been fired on the spot. Who doesn’t want their employees to grow? It put me in mind of my time at Sephora. For makeup junkies like myself, it sounds like a dream job, right? At first, it was. It didn’t pay the best, but it fed my addiction with free products. About 6 months into my time there, I told the store manager I wanted to move into skincare. I thought she would be thrilled given the fact that, at that time, I had nearly 15 years of experience in the beauty industry. Halfway through my pitch to her about my deep knowledge of skincare and why I’d be a great addition to that team, she shook her head and very loudly said, “No. I’m sorry Brooke. You’re so good with the customers and ringing people up quickly, I can’t lose you there.”
Needless to say, my time at Sephora was short-lived after that. Not only was I told I couldn’t move forward, but it was retail during Christmas…at Park Meadows Mall. (My Colorado friends will totally understand that!)
I really wish my time at That Place would have been short-lived after I was told I’d never move up, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but even with numerous interviews under my belt, I wasn’t successful at finding a new job, and it just wasn’t possible to walk away from it. I have a family to feed!
Losing my job in January was truly the best thing that could happen. At first I felt elation, but that “up” was quickly followed by a “down”. I didn’t know what to do with myself with all this free time. Sure, the house could be cleaned, or I could jump into an intense fitness regime, but I haven’t done that. I’m writing, so there’s my blessing. I love to write! (Debut novel will be released soon…come on, had to do the shameless plug! Follow me on Instagram for updates!)
I’m getting better at meditating and praying, and I’m opening myself to accepting new possibilities. As I write this, there is very good potential for a new possibility, but that’s all I’ll say for now. I don’t want to announce anything until I have a firm offer.
I can’t be the only one who’s felt stifled at a job. I want to hear from you! Have you been in a position where you’ve been ready to grow, but your employer wouldn’t let you? I look forward to your response!